I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize