He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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