I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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