He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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