It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
