I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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