Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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