I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
