but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
