Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
