Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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