i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
