Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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