I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
