This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
