i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
