no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
