so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
