Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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