everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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