Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
