Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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