then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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