he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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