I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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