Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
