Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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