no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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