is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
