I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Do vagina's smell?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
