Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
there is glitter all over my balls
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