I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
