I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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