I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
