Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm both gender and math confused
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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