what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
