just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
