He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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