hotel room ftw
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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