You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
