never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
