His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
