when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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