If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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