I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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