I never want to see another naked old woman again.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
