I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
