and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
