is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize