A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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