Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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