my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
