I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
