I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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