We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
