just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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