He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
