just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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