So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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