my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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