Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
