it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Randomize