Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
