Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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