she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm bleeding and have questions