well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
so much tequila, so little girl.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize